The smile hid the truth and the demons inside.
It didn’t matter what was said or done as it all came back to that unmovable one thing. The scars were too deep and the trust that was claimed to be was only an illusion. The rejected past and accompanying darkness told to be too much was in fact only a fear of facing the reflection of the inner being hiding behind the facade
– Show me your feelings!
The supressed part should not have been asked for. There was a reason for those parts being supressed in the first place.
– They are not meant to come out.
– Well they have to if this is going to work!
It was contemplated and considered much before, yet again, the darkness inside peeked out into the light. Struggling and unsteady steps it slowly made its way out. It was a bad idea from the beginning.
– Don’t be quiet! Talk to me and tell me everything you think of or this is not going to work.
– I don’t always have anything to say.
– Then I don’t want to spend any more time doing this.
Another forced push to see the inside far too fast and far too soon.
The mistake was to not say no. I should have backed out and protected myself instead of being naive and leaning on the idea of another persons kindness and false promises.
The easy thing to do here is to only blame everything on the other person. It’s a quick way to restore the peace that was taken away but it is also a quick way of staying the same.
One has to learn from ones past failures. Seeing as it was a complete failure, an utter waste of time, energy and love, I’ll take the failure. I’ll learn from it and move on.
Some people are not worth the effort.
I was left right of the middle.